Senuserk-Ankh-Huti, Lesser Osirian Deity

   God of sport fishing in small mountain streams.

   It’s been awhile since I had Tales from the Floating Vagabond out. Nevertheless, here’s a character from the last game…

   The Osirians. The mighty deities of many worlds and realms. Symbols of wisdom. Emblems of unsurpassed mystery and power.

   The slightly cracked denizens of a dimension imbued with more magic then is even faintly reasonable, or at all healthy.

   A realm where the sun itself is an orange being eaten by the goddess Nutt – and also the boat of Ra, the eye of Horus, a star – and even a ball of dung being pushed by a giant scarab. It all depends on how hard you squint when you look.

   It may be other things as well – but for those you may need some darkened glasses and perhaps a small telescope.

   Osirians are relatively lightly built and suffer from a woeful lack of “common sense” – a quality that really has no application in their native cosmos. Similarly, they tend to get upset when things don’t go their way. Their exceptional brilliance and subconscious channeling of magical energies does tend to make up for this however…

   Osirians occasionally visit other dimensions via “avatar projection”. “Killing” an Osirian merely sends them home and prevents them from voluntarily returning for a century or so – which usually amounts to much the same thing as far as the inhabitants of other realms are concerned. Avatars tend to carry a variety of magical gear, the effects are which are basically identical to the technological equivalents, to help make up for the far weaker magic of most other dimensions.

  • Racial Advantages: Magical Aptitude II*, Smarts IV, Natural Armor II, and Luck II.
  • Racial Disadvantages: Common Sense IV, Strength III, Nimbleness I, and Cool II.

   1) Magical Aptitude I represents a natural “talent” for magic, reducing the cost of buying levels of “cast spells” to 300 points. II and above allows a character to start off with the skill at that level, but offers no other benefits.

   2) Trivial Deities can be summoned with a professional-level ritual. The deity summoned has access to his or her full divine powers – but can only apply them within the summoning circle. Effects involving the deities speciality are the sole exception. As deities love to be called on, they are always reasonably obliging, but can ask for some small favor in exchange. The ritual can last for up to four hours, after which the deity may depart for wherever it wants to.

   Actually having someone perform the ritual can be quite bothersome if you were in the middle of something, since you may not get back for some time.

   3) Each osirian has a skill score of twenty or more in their personal special field, but such skills are never of any really practical use (at least for player characters) – and are, in any case, normally what the osirian is trying to get away from. Hence they won’t use them. It still sounds impressive though.

   By the time you get to the sixth or seventh generation in a large pantheon, there really isn’t much left. All the good jobs are have already been taken – and just try to unseat some elder deity with seniority. It’s either be god of some minor aspect of somebody else’s portfolio and settle into working under some cranky greater god or look for a job so trivial that no one else has wanted it yet…

   God of pleasing mountain views from windows. God of digital watches. God of telephone switchboards. God of Computers was the first decent opening in ages, and it got snatched off just like that.

   Well at least “God of sport fishing in small freshwater mountain streams” is pretty relaxing, as well as having picked up a good bit in the last few millennia.

   Senuserk, of course, is occasionally summoned by people who want good luck in trout fishing. He can usually be persuaded to give it to them. If they really upset him – such as by assaulting him (which won’t work on a deity at full power inside the circle of course) – he finds it quite frustrating that all he can do to things outside the circle is curse them with bad luck with trout fishing.


   Basic Attributes: Strength 2 (2), Nimbleness 2 (2), Aim 4 (4), Smarts 8 (5), Cool 2 (2), Common Sense 1 (1), and Luck 6 (4).

  • Oops Points: 18
  • Luck Points: 6
Skills: Cost Base Total
Shoot Things (Big Gun) 100) Aim 8
Drive Vehicle (Boots) 50 (Nim+Aim)/2 5
Lift Things 100 Str 3
Fiddle With Electronic Gadgets 150 Smarts 9.5*
Human Encyclopedia 300 Smarts 9
Cast Spells II 600 Smarts 10

   *At level 9.5 a roll of “10” fails, but requires no luck test to avoid accidents.

   Random Shtick (200 points): The Trench Coat Effect


Item Cost
Wizards Staff 1200
Seven-League Boots 6501
Bracer Of Defense 500
Wizards Chest 1000
Cloak (Trench Coat) 240
Crystal Ball 400
Sonic Screwdriver 50
50′ Silk (Nylon) Rope 20
Encyclopedia Interdimensia Dataservice Subscription 40

   Most of this stuff is simply the magical equivalents of standard gear – although using it does require that the operator have the “cast spells” skill as well as the usual skills required.

I Have A Magic Wizards Staff, I Think It’s Really Swell;

Whatever Tries to Slow Me Down, I Blow it Straight to Hell!

  • The Wizard’s Staff is equivalent to a Miltech G-13 Bang Maker launching “Fireballs” instead of “Grenades” (400 Credits, Big Gun, One Medium Encumbrance) with a “Bayonet” (+100 Credits, Long Nasty Pointy Thing, no Encumbrance), a Bzzzzt Hand-Held All Purpose Gadget (400 Credits, One Medium Encumbrance), and an Effects Generator (300 Credits, no Encumbrance). That gives it a net mass of 2 medium and a net cost of 1200 Credits.
    • An effects generator is a specialized bzzzzt (Q.V.), designed to provide “special effects” – ominous mist and smoke, weird lighting tricks, bright flashes, peculiar echoes, and flashy (if only holographic) illusions. Since the gadget only projects what the user envisions, it’s nice to have a high smarts score if you want to create really complicated or realistic illusions.
    • The Bzzzzt all-purpose gadget is, of course, used for all sorts of things, but it’s “default setting” is to give anyone hit with the staff an electrical shock. Anyone hit must make easy (1D6) strength test to avoid being stunned (all tests one grade harder, defenses at half value) for 1D4 rounds. Optionally they may also be subject to all the common (smoking-hair, tossed across the room, etc) effects of a magical lightning bolt.
    • A Specialized Bzzzzt works just like a normal one, but:
      • All rolls within it’s speciality are considered to be of “normal” difficulty or less. Anything outside of its speciality are considered to be “nigh impossible”.
      • It’s Mass is five small.
      • Failing your “Fiddle With Electronic Gadgets” roll by 2 or less simply indicates that you’ll have to work on it some more, no luck test is necessary.
      • Possible specialty versions include; “Tricorder” / Multiscanner, Photon Distorter, Sonic Screwdriver, and Electronic Override Module.

   I Have Some Nifty Magic Boots, Which I Wear As Well…

  • Seven-League Boots are rather tricky to operate – requiring a “drive vehicle” skill – but are slightly lighter then the standard Moped (Weight; 5 small). Otherwise, they have identical game statistics and a base cost of 200 Credits. Senuserk’s, of course, have been upgraded – and are capable of handling the Air, Water, and Rough, terrain types.
  • A Wizards Chest: works just like a “console Bzzzzt”, except for the fact that it takes longer to set up. Being made of wood instead of metal, it also weighs a little less (5 Medium instead of 6). Base Cost; 1000 Credits.
  • A Bracer Of Defense is equivalent to a Starline Power Shield. Base Cost; 500 Credits.
  • His Crystal Ball is roughly equivalent to a “pocket secretary” – capable of functioning as a portable phone, personal computer, and filing system. A standard “Spirit” (basic software) performs simple call screening/answering machine functions, tracks and confirms credit transfers, handles dictation and word- processing, operates “modem” links, organizes “online” database searches, and so on. Crystal balls are a bit bulkier and heavier then the electronic versions of pocket secretaries, with a mass of five, rather then two, small. They do look a lot neater though, and – while the mass still counts – tend to just float around in the vicinity instead of taking up space in your pocket. Base Cost; 400 Credits.
  • The Encyclopedia Interdimensia Dataservice is a data service provider operating out of the magical realms. It hooks you up to an expert on a field whenever you need advice, and is most commonly known as ORACLE – the ORGanization of Crystal Linked Experts.
  • The Sonic Screwdriver is functionally equivalent to a Swiss Army Knife (20 Credits).

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