Session Twelve: Into The Depths

   Cleanup at Cheyenne mountain was mostly a matter of explanation. The military wasn’t happy at finding the White Necromancer and Ranko standing in a devastated command center surrounded by bodies – including Deathurge’s unfortunate host- and a couple of the experimental super-soldiers that’d been sent in, but the Chauffeur eventually got the Indestructible Man out of the astral plane to back up their explanations. Unfortunately, Fist-Of-God had been killed holding off a couple of tank platoons.

   Down in Panama, Darius had decided that Mexico wasn’t coming, sent them a letter stating that – since they hadn’t shown up, he considered himself clear of all obligations – had helped the locals convert his guard-towers and fortifications into nice solid housing, and gone home.

   Dropping in at the Orphanage, Darius ran straight into the children’s multitude of magical traps. None of them were powerful enough to do more than trip him up make him glow bright red with illusory flames, but they were a passable defense-in-depth. He was busy coming up with advice on improvements when Ranko and the White Necromancer got back, failed to recognize him under the illusions, and assumed he was a super-villain.

   Ranko, believing he was threatening her son, went a little berserk and threw him into the ground with tremendous force – and Darius decided to just keep on going. Down to the mantle. Where he found a lot of magma and some mineral resources before he decided to come back up. Right in front of the march in support of minority religions.

   Somebody looked at the towering armored figure, dripping flame and molten rock, coated with diamonds, and still blazing with crimson radiance, and wanted to know if he was Satan. Darius – more than a bit unstable – decided that he was, turned on his aura of domination, and informed them all that he was indeed Satan, and was much misunderstood. He returned to his School of Siege and started converting it into Satans School of Siege.

   Ranko and the White Necromancer decided to find Darius to cap their new geothermal vent. The White Necromancer called, got answered by “Satan”, and went to exorcise his phone. Ranko arrived, took one look and threw Darius out. Darius announced that “Satan respects property rights” and sent them off to buy Madison – er – Satan Square Garden and start some team-building exercises.

   Meanwhile, the Darkmage’s cultists had been using the parade as a cover to get close – and were launching a two-pronged attack, deploying warrior demons, group magical attacks, and heavy weapons. The werewolves, teachers, and other employees took one side, but the White Necromancer went down before the massed psychic attack. Fortunately he’d held out long enough for Ranko and Darius to get involved – although no one accepted Darius’s claims of being entitled to give the demons and cultists orders due to being Satan.

   They won eventually, although Darius acquired a Demon’s brain along the way, a hunting demon got set loose on the world, several cultists got away, and they had to advise their ancient Chinese teacher that – these days – you turned captured enemies over to the police, rather than maiming and enslaving them. Oddly, the insanity seemed to be contagious (perhaps Darius had forgotten to turn off his aura of domination). Ranko drafted several of the cultists to try and teach them to dance, the Hauntsman took a group to see if he could break their demon links (unfortunately he could only transfer them to another Lord of Darkness – so he chose himself) – and the White Necromancer, who had recently erected mental defenses, turned the rest over to the police.

   Then he had to deal with his new pet cat-boy – a responsibility that he really didn’t want.

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One Response

  1. <3

    “Good evening people of New York. I am Satan, and I have come up to see your world. The first thing I would like to say is, it is very cold up here. Second, your architecture sucks.”

    “The Second Rule of Satan is, Satan is benevolent.

    The First Rule of Satan is that Satan respects property rights, and the Third Rule of Satan is Satan does not believe in cheese.”

    <3<3

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